Ok, all I have to say is…one day down…30 to go. To be perfectly honest, I don’t have any real deep things to say tonight, cuz as my friend Brad put it when he saw me semi-unconscious on the floor of Gloria Jeans’ at 11:20 tonight, “I’m F****** Dog tired.” The good thing is…we pulled in like four grand today (that’s pretty darn good for a coffee shop). The bad news is…I was working. Nothing amazing or exciting happened (Jason), my friend ReeChee (Charee) got engaged, but that’s not really a surprise to me. And if you’d all like to toss up a prayer for me about work, I’m about to go postal due to the scheduling tendencies of Rhyll and my father.

Coffee makes me think. Whenever I catch a whiff of it, I immediately think of my coworkers, who are the best. They taught me the best moves to fend off a can of whip cream, and the most cockeyed, off the wall delicious drink concoctions you could conceive. When I think about coffee I feel kind of good about myself cuz I can make a darn good latte, and an even better breve, and don’t even get me started on how I whip up chillers. While I’m working, I see all the people that come in and get the same drink that they’ve been getting since I was a junior in high school and first working there, and I think about how people don’t like to change. I wonder about my comfort zone and what areas of my life I just can’t picture myself doing differently. Not that coffee is a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Just like movies aren’t (I got opening day LOTR tix today), and the price of gas isn’t (I can get it for a buck ten here). But I think I get used to having things go my way, and that’s my comfort zone.

I think that I’m used to sweet talking my way out of things and into things and that’s my comfort zone. I think that I’m used to using my connections and my talents and that’s my comfort zone. Does God want me out of it? Change is pretty uncomfortable and the last few days have put me in the rare mindset of craving it. It’s strangely ironic how I never understood and even sometimes ridiculed in my own mind the poetry Tyler would send me talking about how he desired change, and now I do. I’ve been pretty used to living my life the same way since middle school and to be honest, that’s fairly pathetic imho. Yet at the same time, I don’t think I can choose where to change. I’ve heard it said that you don’t get to heaven on morality and you can’t become a more mature Christian through conscious action. I think God needs to decide where I need change most, and it’s going to be very hard for me to let Him show me instead of going ahead and staying in my comfort zone and getting my way by choosing what I think will look best. I don’t like being out of control, especially when it comes to me. Gosh, now look what you guys made me do. You made me think and start babbling and now it’s late and i have to go to church tomorrow! Or maybe it’s just b/c I smell like coffee grounds and chocolate milk. Until next time…which might be tomorrow night it might not…we’ll see how social I feel…

The “Chiller Thriller Queen” (My work nametag)