Being an adult is hard. I shouldn’t have signed up for it. Tonight, I felt like my mother betrayed me, and I don’t even know why. It was over something small and stupid.

I’ve always felt like I should give and give anything people need that I don’t. I’ve never really had a problem with sharing with people, and if for some reason I find myself not wanting to share – you wouldn’t believe the inner chastisement that I give myself. There are even times when I volunteer things that I shouldn’t. This sounds really arrogant of me. Man, I am an arrogant girl.

Anyway. Tonight, my mother discovered that we don’t have a charger for my cell phone. Shan left hers somewhere (we both thought it was here at my house) and so when I was down in Medford, I just left mine there for her. When I came home, the charger my mother thought was mine turns out to be incompatible with my phone. No one knows where it came from. I figured, heck, I’ll just buy a new one. They shouldn’t be that expensive. But now my mother is insisting that I get mine back from Shan . I feel torn. Like asking for it back would be a betrayal and a move against the grain of my being. Lately…I’ve been getting many comments like this from my mother. About how I share too much. Well, let me clarify. About how I share too much of my possessions. (Everyone knows I don’t share enough of the “real” Rogue.) Is this just a part of being a grown up? “Rogue, you have learned to share. Now learn to hoard.” (No, not THAT kind of hoarding…) I don’t get it. Are you only supposed to share certain things? Growing up is so confusing…

Another thing. Being “girly”. I’ve received several comments on how I should be/am becoming/would be uber cool if I became more of this elusive everyday “girly”. How do you DO that? I was just shooting for being myself all the time, and now people are demanding girly. I don’t even know what that entails. In my mind, it spurs forth images of make-up, painted nails, lots of giggling, and flaunting of body parts. No thank you. Or…are we thinking Martha Stewart-knowing how to bake and cook- decorating with flowers- sewing my own wardrobe- girly? Again, no thank you, I probably couldn’t manage that. Then there’s the femnazi…and seeing as I’ve already played that role, I’m going to assume people don’t mean that. So…if you have any idea what this “girly” thing is they speak of…please respond to my comments at the end of this blog. Thanks…

Two more things. 1. A confession. I watched about 15 minutes of “Buffy” tonight. *shamefully hangs head* It was the wedding one…I just wanted to see what everyone’s clothes looked like…*sniff* sorry. 2. Hang tight, I’m still working on that stupid bio page. Hopefully, it’ll be up soon. Hasta…

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