I saw the movie Phone Booth tonight. It was good. It made me think. Sometimes people view God as that sniper. He lets us go along with our little lives, all the while watching and recording. And then one day when we think we’re all in control – BAM! He stops us and tortures us like a woman microwaving her cat. He knows everything about us. Every sick little detail, every tiny flaw we try to hide. There we are, unable to retaliate against him and desperately watching as he throws all our chips in for us. I personally don’t hold to this, just to clarify, but I’ve felt that way before and I’ve met lots of people who feel that way. That sniper brought out every weakness Stu had. Do you ever feel God exploits you? Sometimes I wonder why God lets all the criticisms of my life come in waves. Like the old cliche, “when it rains, it pours”.
All day today, it stormed. There was thunder rattling everything. Lightning skewered the horizon consistently until late this evening and the air smelled electrically charged. Not to mention the sweet newly washed earthy smell left behind by the downpour that accompanied the timpani fireworks. By the time I left Chuck’s tonight, the stars were blazing in their glory and there was just the hint of rain wafting about. And I thought about the movie.
Sometimes, it does seem God is the sniper just waiting to blow a tangerine (or bigger) sized hole in our lives after forcing us to our knees in humility and desperation. Sometimes it seems the storm is going to last all day long, that we’ll be shaken by thunder and blinded by lightning. That we’ll be uncomfortable for eternity, cold and soaking wet in the deluge. Sometimes it seems God is asking us to tackle the insurmountable- to be honest with our depravity, to make choices we see as impossible, to sacrifice everything. And we find ourselves broken. We find ourselves beaten, bloodied, cold, tired…and seemingly alone. But God is there. After the storm is gone, there’s the most beautiful aroma…cleaned earth, cleaned sky, cleaned soul. With those stars just shining their starry starry hearts out…