With this latest edition of Rogue Blogger, please exercise caution when reading. Extreme profanity. Rated EP for extreme profanity…
Anger management hit the wall today in apartment 5191. It was a cold and bleary day, the kind that makes you want to pick up your best guy and snuggle with him and nurse a cup of hot coffee or cocoa. With the ending of Rush week and the monotonous doldrums of classes, voice lessons, homework, and lack of new Buffy episodes setting in, things were a bit dull.
Now you’d think with the presence of three 21 year old females gifted with social skills and looks like ours, there’d be no lack of entertainment. But you’d be wrong. Even our passionate emotions had hit all time lows…with episodes of hysterics and pointless sobbing…followed by sleep. As opposed to the natural progression to “talking things out”. You know things have hit a low when girls don’t want to talk. And if it wasn’t crying…it was half assed anger expressions. Things like “poop”. Things like “dag nabbit”. Maybe the occasional sprinkling of “pee drinking crap face”. It was bad. Real bad. Like a slow silent time bomb waiting to explode some life into this dump.
I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business when it happened. We had assigned the tall, dark, and beautiful one to pina colada duty while blondie and I played some nintendo. The lightning of profanity struck the numbness of our anger veins with a flash of “Oh Fuck!”. Maude had broken through the silence of our repressed rage with her clear tuning fork of a tone “fuckness”. Dookie and I burst out laughing.
“What! Can’t a girl get mad sometimes!?!?” came the frustrated and heated reply. It turns out the pina colada had been turned into an instrument to promote sin by slogging itself all over the counter and inducing the aforementioned “fuck”.
This outburst of honest exasperated expression unleashed the tendencies we had been fighting for more than a few days while dealing with stressful situations. We know as Christians that we shouldn’t be saying things like this. And there is no justification for what happened next. But it happened, as sin happens, and as girls go wild in the verbal sense. The post game fireworks are still shooting off a bit around apt 5191…but here are the highlights.
Several quotes of “fuckity fuck fuck fuckness” by Dookie, along with a plethora of other profanity…and then a small regressive and guilty sounding “poopsnot”? Followed by an “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! ELVIS!” as she accidentally dumped her fish down the garbage disposal.
Maude supplied us with several well placed swear words, defended vehemently when we laughed…and when asked for my input? I replied with
“I’m going to go blog now” supported by some very…very…very…evil laughter.