I was never meant to play a middle man. My personality type defines me as someone who either needs to give orders or take orders…but not someone who plays two sets of people, bartering, consoling, using slippery words of mercuric tongue to make everyone think they’ve gotten the best deal when really one of them has gotten the shaft. It’s true that I’m very skillful at twisting people’s words to mean exactly what I want…but I enjoy being a straight shooter. The truth is a rare, beautiful, and precious thing – to be treasured as it lies in the palms of our cupped hands. No one tells their own truth nowadays, it seems. Everyone is more than willing to tell everyone else’s truth. So and so may be engaged, so and so broke up, so and so is in trouble with the law, and so on and so on. But when one of our own is caught in the tangled web, we all race to their rescue to defend their “integrity”…if they’re tarnished…then so are we. For we listen. We nod affirmation and gulp it with gusto. We raise our eyebrows in mock shock. All to stroke our inner desire of needing to feel we’re okay. A crazy mob of intelligent animals who are so slap happy on their way to the top of the swarming pile. We disgust me.
I’m a perpetrator of this. It’s nobody’s fault but mine. I talk trash about people. I lie a lot – and I’ll be honest with you, lying doesn’t bother me a bit. It can come as natural as swallowing for me. But that’s another story. God forbid that I have any faults, because then I’m unreliable. But God also forbid that I’m perfect, then I’m holier-than-thou. The limbo we dance is unbearable. Assume perfection – accept all faults. Be tolerant. Crack under authority. Just do it.