When I was in highschool and dating a different young man than now, we had a very interesting conversation. *ironic laugh* Well, we had many interesting conversations, but this one in particular has been springing back into the forefront of my memory due to recent events.
*Peter and I talked about marriage. We had planned on getting married, but God stepped in and shot that idea right out of the water. Anyway, one evening we were driving back to his house to watch Alien when I brought up the fact that I sometimes felt sorry for my parents because they didn’t really have any close friends. They spent a lot of time together (which I assumed was natural) but my mom and my dad both didn’t seem to spend time with anyone else their own age. Peter laughed at me, which I found annoying but intriguing. He proceeded to explain to me that the way he figured it, when people are in love and then married, they don’t really need anyone else. They are best friends with each other and it doesn’t really bother them that no one else is around. Sure, they like to have acquaintences, but all in all, they’re satisfied that they only have one key relationship. I never understood that until now.
I love my boyfriend. He’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Except for maybe my former room mate, but she’s a girl and pretty much amazing in different ways. This summer, before we were dating, I would rant and rave about how stupid I thought it was that another one of my friends was being exclusive with her boyfriend (now fiancee). I didn’t understand why. I couldn’t figure out why she would forego spending time with her friends in order to spend time with her man. We were the beehatches together – the maaaaanhaters. And then he came along and just RUINED everything. (There was a lot of sarcasm in that…) Now I get it. And I’m not hurt or upset in the least. I understand.
Since I’ve been dating That One Guy, a couple of my friendships have fallen completely by the wayside. Some of these I miss…others I don’t. And since we’ve been dating, a couple of my friends have gotten closer to each other than they have to me. This doesn’t really bother me. I understand what it means now to care mostly about investing time into one relationship over the others. It just makes sense. I know that I’m only a young whippersnapper at the age of 21…and that I can’t possibly understand all the implications of what I’m feeling or think that I’m feeling. But right now, the relationship between him and I is quite high on the priority list. And I’d like to think that it will last for a very long time…decades even. Based on what I see in every single adult around me, the majority of my friends in college will fall away. And you know…that’s okay with me. I’m sure I’ll miss them. A lot at times. And I’m sure there will be times when all of us wannabe Ya-Ya’s will get together and have a jolly good time. But for now…I’m okay with where I am friendship wise. I’m okay with just him and whoever else decides to jump in on this. I’m okay with investing my energy into one friendship if that’s the one that’s going to stick. I might be wrong…but I’m okay with that.