Call it senioritis. Call it disrespect. Call it sheer boredom. But whatever it is…it is. I’ve had three or four classes with Dr. S. (I don’t use real names on this site whenever possible). And I’m not making any exceptions with this prof. Those of you that attend my soon-to-be-renamed college will probably easily recognize his teaching style. Ladies and Gentleman…presenting a topic flow chart from (cue scary music) the infamous Dr. S!!!

(Class begins at 9 am)

– Dr. S. hands out multiple sheets of paper bearing his name choice for the new college name.
-lecture on how the verse Psalm 42:1 has great impact on our college’s name choice
-lecture on how the room temperature is always too high
-we digress to a list of reasons why the word “cool” should be stripped from the English language
-pontifications on the word “cool”
-Dr S. takes attendance
-Prof engages in a one-on-one conversation with another student about an autobiography sheet he is working on for her publication
-Dr S. asks someone to open the class in prayer
-we hear all of his complaints about the grammatical incorrectness in the all school devotional sent out the day before
-class chastised for not knowing the meaning of the word “urtext”
-discussion on redactors
-history lesson on the significance of The Dead Sea Scrolls, the Bible, and redactors
-a dissertation on what translation of the Bible is Dr S’s favorite (The NKJV)
-a verbal biography of William Tyndale
-discussion of prefixes, particularly the prefix (in-)
-we briefly touch on the fact that we should be studying chapter 7
-we are provided with examples of psychoantique absurdities (in other words, we study the words “Ye Olde Shoppe”)
-a brief synopsis of the movie “Das Boot” is given
-memories from Dr. S’s childhood in relation to Dracula’s Law
-a discussion of John Donne’s rhyming scheme
-we return to Psalm 42:1
-a lecture on uninflected plurals
-a timeline of Chaucer’s life
-a brief discussion of Ben Jonson and the “s” as a genitive marker
-discussion of the Lady’s Chapel
-touches on the uninflected genitive
-examples of double negatives in Old English
-a return to Chaucer
-a biography of Shakespeare
-discussion -> would another Shakespeare be possible in today’s world?
-the problems with spell check
-biography of James Joyce
-themes in “Ulysses”
-Dr S’s opinions on Kirk Douglas
-“when in doubt, keep your mouth shut”
-different writing styles in “Ulysses”
-stream of consciousness
-personal pronouns
-reminder we need to discuss chapter 7 this week
-the fugue form
-Bach vs. Shakespeare – who was greater intellectually?
-reminder to learn vocab words in chapter 7 – “nothing else is important”
-a synopsis of “Hamlet”
-contracted forms of words
– “is ‘ain’t’ socially acceptable now?”
-reflexive pronouns
-the meaning of emphasis
-lecture on the use of “self”
-early dictionaries and how they relate to the OED
-examples of purism and prescriptive grammar
-grammar in schools (aka, ‘Why the American Public School System Sucks’ – a repetitive song written by Dr S)
-style guides and why we should use them
-Fowler’s Dictionary on American Language (class dismissed at 10:15 am)

And people wonder why I’m confused…