Considering our computer tower is broken, thus hindering any access to the internet, I’ve opted to quit the pointless blogging and post on things which have been on my mind lately.
Transitions are the toughest part of life. As much as we claim to, we never truly warm up to change, it’s not in our nature. Sure, God created us in a manner in which we’re driven to seek new things and to improve ourselves…but we also are programmed in a completely different manner which drives us to be in control. Something impossible in the events of true change. But I digress.
The first large transitions of our lives are easy on us. Going to primary school for instance – it’s scary but there are new friends to make. Same with going to college. Yes, we usually leave all those friends we spent sometimes over a decade getting to know. But we enter another atmospere full of people our own age in which to learn, grow, and generally play with. Then we graduate from college. (Hopefully). This is where the change has changed in nature for me. Instead of moving into another warm and friendly body of friends, I’m one of those who chose to serve instead of work the last year of school and got the world’s screw for it. There is absolutely no one here for me to converse with – instead there are people constantly affirming the fact I’m under/over qualified for any position I apply for, that I owe the government a whole lot of money and have no means to pay it back. And it’s my responsibility to find a solution to the Catch-22 problem. But again…I digress.
My freshman year of college, I lived with four other girls in a two room dorm suite. One of the girls in particular struck me because of her push to keep in contact with every single friend from highschool. The girl went through a rather large phone card a week by trying to do this. And I remember her crying in the bunk below me on nights when she discovered people moved and didn’t let her know how to reach them. I’ve never seen anyone so dedicated to keeping relationships healthy.
I am not an optimist. Throughout college I was constantly chastised for claiming once college was over all our friendships would die. Fizzle out like the fireworks my sister still shoots off in the driveway at night sometimes. And it’s true.
Changes like this are good in a way. They let you know which friendships are really worth trying to keep around and put energy into. Which ones really meant something to both of you instead of being a one sided relationship never put out of its misery due to the constraints of polite society. I’m guilty of this. There have been people in my life who I know I mean more to than they to me. But like life deals us, there are people who are doing the same to me. I understand why my mother only keeps in contact with one person from college, and my father only two.
As I see it, there are generally three groups of people you meet while pursuing high education. The largest group – people you meet and both of you know after college you’ll never see or speak to the other again unless life tosses you together. For me, these are the people I led while in Student government, as well as the people I worked with.
The second group consists of the majority of people you consider friends while in college. One or the other of you is more involved in the friendship than the other…you just don’t know it. And you won’t know it until the strain of adulthood and real life breaks the weaker bond. The friendship might linger on a while, but eventually it will die. Fizzle out…if you know what I mean. You could even have spent whole nights together sharing secrets, upholding pet names, crying and laughing together. And all for naught.
The third and smallest of miniscule groups are the people who truly are your friends. In many cases, one of these will become your spouse. I often speculated on who this would be during my four years of upperschool. Ironically enough, all the people I chose were wrong. In fact, one married and didn’t even invite me to their wedding. I’ve found four or five men and women scattered throughout three states who fit this category. They’re the types who you can pick up with immediately and move to talk about the deepest of tragedies and silliest of joys. The introductory questions of “how are you” sorts seem unimportant. The saddest part is, some of these may eventually fade as well.
I’m not the kind who is especially patient at keeping up with people when I feel no reciprocation. But I am the kind who likes to encourage those who help me. The five people who seem to pop up whenever I need them most are the greatest benefit of going to Western. I’m not the type who is super emotional about missing people, but to be honest, I do cry at times simply because I miss them. And all five of these people are superbly blessed. Two of them are married, two of them are close enough to groups of old friends to find support whenever they need it, and the last one has a family more loving and supportive than any I’ve met. But they still take the time to check up on me out here in the desert. Thanks, guys.