I didn’t work at the school today…Tuesdays are normally my day off. That might be changing for better or for worse in the next three weeks but for now…Tuesdays are my day off. Yet…yesterday was not entirely without event. It was just entirely lacking in time on the internet. So here’s the daily dose of dumbness from yesterday.

One of our attendance “officers” is also the sports medicine teacher. TW (no, not THAT TW), is a funny and nice guy. He has a class of sophomores in primary sports med (basically a jazzed up first aid class). He also routinely complains about how stupid some kids are to think they can actually get away with some of the things they try. Like forging notes and accidentally signing their own name and yet still trying to turn it it. Like smoking and then huffing air freshener to try and cover the smell. Anyway…
Yesterday during fifth period, TW comes in with one of his sophomore sports med students. This student – let’s name him Johnny – is raising his right hand straight up in the air while clenching a wad of bloody paper towels. Immediately, my interest is piqued. After depositing Johnny with Nurse B, TW comes out and puts his head in his hands and relates the story. Apparently, Johnny and Johnny’s friend were screwing around out in the computer lab – a.k.a. running with scissors. Literally. TW catches them and tells them that even kindergarteners know not to run with scissors. Johnny immediately sticks the scissors in his jeans pocket. TW asks him a simple question, “now why is that not any smarter than what you were just doing?” Johnny says “because I can stick my hand in my pocket and cut my hand on the scissors.” “Correct,” says TW. Then Johnny proceeds to stick his hand in his pocket and slice it open on the scissors – pointing tip up- in his pocket.Maybe that’s something else they should cover in kindergarten. Don’t run with scissors. Don’t stick scissors in your pocket either.