Two car accidents in less than 13 hours. TWO. Involving TWO of our cars, almost 200 miles apart.

I’m driving down the road, minding my own business, doing nothing (NOTHING) wrong on my way home from work. When some 18 year old kid who has only had his permanent license for mere days decides to pull out and turn left in front of me. In front of another person waiting to turn left. So not only is he not yielding to me, he’s not yielding to the other guy either. Can we say T-bone? Can we say…the accident from hell? But you may say…”Rogue, everythingis alright. The accident is not your fault.”

Why yes, I know this. But I will give you the reasons this accident is the gayest accident ever.

1. Did I mention Kid was only 18?

2. Kid’s father (the registered owner of the car) not legal guardian, so Kid might end up in even more trouble for driving a car he might not have legal permission to drive.

3. Accident happened at the only intersection disputable between city police and county sherrif. After phone call from city police asking (in feet) how far from intersection the impact occurred, am left standing on side of road waiting for 40 minutes looking like common hooker (am in slightly scandalous work clothes) while waiting for county sheriff

4. Sometime between the exchanging of information between him and me, and the arrival of the county sheriff, Kid loses his license.

5. County sheriff (while young and hot)…(no offense, TOG)…gets confused as to which vehicle is mine and writes down damage on another, uninvolved, vehicle as opposed to mine on accident report. Damage to my vehicle all along passenger side, unable to open doors, etc etc. Vehicle described – mere damage to front bumper.

6. Sheriff does not issue citation for Kid who OBVIOUSLY…was at fault.

7. Kid has an insurance company whom I will not name (but let’s just say their company is not cooler with their mascot doing the moonwalk)- single stupidest insurance company ever. Insurance company will not admit Kid is at fault. Insurance company wants to see car at 9 am Thursday morning.

8. My parents’ locations? Georgia and Spokane.

9. My vehicle was not George. Was Mom’s car. Forced to call Mom and deal with slight hysteria and indignation less than 10 minutes after altercation. Luckily, note her geographical location as specified in #8.

10. Finally. The stupidest, most inconsiderate a-holish eyewitness in the history of eyewitness-dom. Actually gets out of vehicle only to open my vehicle door and inform me I have already hindered traffic enough and should pull over off the road further. “Hi. I’ve been in an accident. Please treat me like crap in your hoity-toity work out clothes and crappy mp3 player.”

And if that isn’t enough for you, my dad gets in an almost completely identical accident with the 15-passenger fun bus 13 hours later up in Spokane. Of course, he gets all the luck and immediately the woman who hits him assumes responsibility, helps him get towed and driving again and is arranging for a rental vehicle while 15 passenger fun bus is in the shop. His car will be done by next week. Who knows if insurance company will decide who is at fault by next month…much less that it’s Kid’s fault. WHEN IT OBVIOUSLY IS!!!

I’m so glad this time next week I’ll be at the beach for my favorite holiday. Now if we can just get the neighbor’s stupid dog to quit trying to hang himself on the electric fence and screaming bloody murder.

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