Some questions I would like answered, if possible:

~Where is the first literary reference to dwarves? Have they always been considered short, stumpy, grumpy, and wrinkly? Why do they always live underground?

~If you are outside when it’s cold enough to see your breath, and you fart, will it make a little steam cloud behind your butt?

~Why can’t I specify that all of my loan payment be applied towards my principal balance instead of my interest balance? Is the US Department of Education really so evil that they insist on putting my money where it will do the least good for me, the consumer? And is it possible that I will have to work 2 jobs in order to actually make a dent in my principal balance?

~What are you supposed to be thinking about when someone else is praying out loud and you have your eyes closed? Are you supposed to be listening (cuz I can’t turn off my thinking process)? Are you supposed to be praying? Or repeating what they say? The Bible is silent on this, I believe…

~ Why is our local library so lacking its selection? Instead of trying to found a new, fourth, library location in our small town, why don’t they invest their funds into expanding their adult fiction to include some of the very well-known classics including works by Jane Austen, Henry James, and Mark Twain? Instead of carrying eight different copies of horrible books such as Eragon and Eldest?

If you can supply the answers to any of these questions, please let me know. I’d appreciate you relieving my mental distress.