As you may have noticed if you follow my Twitter, my husband and I bought Wii Fit on Saturday.  At first, this was cause for great rejoicing.  We’ve been looking for the stupid thing since the week it came out in May.  We’d looked here at home, and in Spokane, on the internet, while we were in Seattle – everywhere it seemed sold out.  Considering we didn’t want to spend over retail, we rejected buying it off eBay.  Saturday, when we went to pick up some photos we’d had developed – lo and behold, Target had three in stock. So without hesitation, we purchased it.

We should have known better when we picked up the box and it weighed about three thousand pounds.

I’d read a few posts by other bloggers who have mentioned the personality they programmed into the game.  It sasses you.  It asks you personal questions.  It mentions you might not be up to par.  It will tell you that you are overweight, or obese, or underweight, several times during a workout.  It has no mercy.

Don’t get me wrong, it does have fun games.  It does give you a workout while you’re entertained.  What’s not entertaining about slalom skiing?  Or rolling a little ball down a river?  Or hula hooping it up?  Fairly soon, you realize you’ve actually been exercising.  And sweating.  And for longer than a few minutes.  I have actually logged five plus hours of exercise in the past six days.  Mostly it’s fun.  I am sore, my arms a bit tired from the tae bo -like boxing with a black trainer who screams “FIGHT THE FAT!” at me while I punch and simultaneously do step aerobics.

Unfortunately, the wii fit doesn’t understand concepts like birthday and anniversary dinners.  If you gain more than the standard two pound fluctuation expected on any person on any given day, it wants to know why.  And there are no good responses.  The thing will take you out and make you its…well, you know.  I can’t tell the wii fit, “It was my anniversary and I went out to dinner.  I had fish, sorry.  That’s healthy, right?”  The wii fit only cares about results.  And if you claim no knowledge of why your weight has changed, it doesn’t believe you.  Every time you view your results for that day, it displays the reasons you’re fatter on the screen.  No mercy.

And it’s a good thing in the fact we’re now terrified of our wii fit.  We’ve stopped worrying about my cardiologist suddenly appearing at Dairy Queen, but now drive right on by, knowing our Wii Fit will know.  We eat less in general, not just less snack or junk food.  The Wii Fit will KNOW.

It will know.